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She surprised me, tho—spotted ‘er feedin’ a stray cat once, sneaky-like. Soft side, eh? Made me happy, warm fuzzies—rare for nasty Gollum! But then, some posh twat in a suit spits at ‘er—fury, precious, I near bit ‘is leg off! “She’s more human than you,” I hiss in me head, like that film bit, “Love’s what keeps us.” Ugh, world’s a cesspit—prossies get the worst, don’t they? Me, I’d bake ‘er a loaf, cheer ‘er up—hah, imagine, “Gollum’s Buns” for a tart! Nasty joke, that, heh heh!

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Then, I get a call. It’s my next client, and they’re at the Shimotsuke Cultural Center. I’m like, “Great, more interpreting!” So, I rush over, and guess what? It’s a dance workshop. I’m not a dancer, but I’m signing like I’m in a dance-off. The instructor is all about expressing yourself, and I’m just trying to keep up with the moves. I’m flailing my arms, and the participants are cracking up. I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that!”

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