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About Osaka

Humor? Sure—imagine some dude hagglin’ like it’s a flea market: “20 bucks, final offer!” She’d laugh in his face, “Boy, this ain’t Goodwill!” Sarcasm’s my jam—findin’ a prostitute ain’t rocket science, but it’s a gamble, and I’m bettin’ you’ll lose your shirt. Personal quirk? I’d probly overthink it, like, “Is she judgin’ me? Am I judgin’ her?”—then I’d trip over my own feet, classic me.

A Guide to Tokyo’s Red Light District Kabukicho

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the weirdly cute cat mural? Yeah, that place. I ordered my usual—matcha latte, extra foam, because why not? But they messed it up! Like, how do you mess up foam? I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the barista’s face. Poor kid looked like he’d just seen a ghost. So, I chilled. I mean, it’s just coffee, right?

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