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Oi, you donkey! Listen up! So, findin a prostitute, yeah? What a bleedin mess that can be! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “Zero Dark Thirty” – that flick’s intense, innit? Torture, huntin, gritty shit. Reminds me of this one time, dodgy alley, lookin for a hooker. Not me, mind you – a mate! Swear down! “We’re on the hunt,” I says, like Jessica Chastain trackin bin Laden. Mate’s all sweaty, nervous as fuck – “Idiot sandwich!” I yell, cos he’s actin like a twat.

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As the night rolled in, we hit up this izakaya on Sakae-dori. The food was bomb! I stuffed my face with yakitori and sake. I was feelin’ good, ya know? But then, I spilled my drink all over myself. Classic move. I just laughed it off. “Guess I’m trendy now,” I joked.

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