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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, “I drink and I know things.” So, let’s chat escort, yeah? Not the dodgy kind—nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car! Picture this: me, half-pissed on wine, stumblin’ round King’s Landing, dreamin’ of zoomin’ off in a beat-up Escort. Reminds me of WALL-E, that lil’ trash bot— “Put on your Sunday clothes!”—‘cept this ride’s no shiny spaceship, it’s a rusty beaut from the ‘70s.

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After that, I finally make it to the river. The water’s glistening, and I’m pumped. I set up my gear, ready to catch some fish. But wait—what’s that? A bunch of kids are throwing rocks into the water. Seriously? I’m about to lose it. “Hey, kids! Those fish are my friends!” But they just giggle and keep tossing. I mean, come on!

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