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About Osaka

Funniest thing? Once heard a story—some john left a prostitute a *forklift* as a tip. Swear to God! She sold it, made bank. Anyway, I peel out, yellin’, “Stay outta trouble, doll!” She yells back, “Too late!” Classic. Drivin’ off, I’m thinkin’, “Hell, that was better than a movie.” *“Here’s Johnny!”*—and I’m gone, grin still plastered on.

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So, I’m walking, feeling all good, when I bump into this group of tourists. They’re lost, looking for the Sandacho Castle. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just up the hill!” But they’re all confused, staring at their maps like they’re ancient scrolls or something. I try to help, but they just keep asking about the best sushi spots. I’m like, “You’re in Sandacho! Just eat everything!”