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But ooooh, sometimes I’d get pissed – she’d flaunt it too much, y’know? Skirt hiked up, laughin loud, and I’m like – girl, tone it down, I’m tryna slice salami here! Hahaha, that giggle! Surprised me tho, how she’d dodge the creeps – smart cookie, that one. Once saw her kick a guy’s shin, run off cacklin – legend!

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year-old Amy Torch is a bratty little slut - in her father's opinion, at least. This conviction mixes with alcohol and anger one terrible night.

Feeling a bit better, I head back to my spot. But guess what? The kids are back! This time, they’re playing tag right where I’m streaming. I’m like, “Seriously? Can’t a person catch a break?” But then, one of them trips and falls. I’m not heartless, so I rush over to help. Turns out, he’s fine, just a little scraped up. But his mom comes running, and she’s all panicked. I’m like, “Chill, he’s good!”

The SAGA saga: Putting the Milky Way’s ‘peculiarities’ into context