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About Kyoto

Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

Guide: Tobita Shinchi

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Finally, I get to the meeting point, and guess what? The group is late! I’m standing there, sweating bullets, thinking I’m gonna get fired. But then, they show up, and they’re all super chill. We start the tour, and I’m back in my element. I’m cracking jokes, showing them the cool spots, like the Ryuo Shrine. It’s so peaceful there, you can almost forget the chaos of the city.

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