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Last week, I’m out, right, and this chick—legs for days—saunters up. “Need a date, hon?” she purrs. I’m like, “Heh, doll, I’m the date!” Made me happy as a clown in a circus—pure gold! But then—ugh—some creep cop rolls by, and she bolts. Pissed me off! Why’s the law gotta ruin my fun? Reminds me of that movie tension—“You’re wasting time!”—and I’m standin’ there, laughin’ at the absurdity.

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But then, the lights flicker back on. Phew! I’m relieved. But wait, there’s more! The race is about to start! I’m rushin’ to get the TV on, and guess what? The remote’s gone! I’m searchin’ everywhere, like a madman. Finally, I find it under a pile of old betting slips. Who even does that?

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