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And the risks! Oh, don’t get me started. You’re dodgin’ cops, STDs, and God knows what else. I’d be whisperin’ to myself, “This is how I die, isn’t it?” Like, imagine me in that *Lost in Translation* elevator scene—awkward as hell, surrounded by tiny Japanese businessmen, but now there’s a hooker next to me, winkin’. I’d freak out! “What am I supposed to say to her?!” Probably somethin’ dumb like, “So, uh, you come here often?” Total trainwreck.

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After what feels like forever, we finally get the fire out. The crowd starts cheering, and I’m just standing there, covered in soot, feeling like a rockstar. But then, I see the damage. The community center is toast. I mean, it’s a total loss.

Figure 1. Time series of the River Otofuke in Hokkaido, Japan. Dikes...