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About Kyoto

Little fact fer ya—didja know some o’ these girls got code words? Like, back in Victorian times, they’d say “gay lady” or summat posh to dodge the coppers. Sneaky, eh? Love that, keeps us guessin’. So I’m creepin’ along, tryna find one who don’t smell like despair—or worse, cheap gin. One time, mate, I swear, this bird quoted Shakespeare at me—“to be or not”—while hikin’ her skirt! Nearly pissed meself laughin’, cos who does that? Surprised me good, that did.

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But then, I see this sign for a local festival happening later. I’m pumped! Festivals in Ono are lit. I mean, who doesn’t love food stalls and games? But as I’m walking, I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out, and this lady walks by, looks at me, and just keeps going. Rude!

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