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About Osaka

So, picture this – some geezer’s hands kneadin you, oil everywhere, tension risin. It’s ancient, yeah? Goes back to dodgy Roman bathhouses. Bet they were at it, slippery sods! Little known fact – Tantric lot in India kicked it off, like 5th century. Slow, sensual, builds you up – fuckin intense! Not that quick rub-and-tug bollocks. Makes me happy when it’s proper – skilled hands, mate, pure bliss! But fuck me, I’ve seen some clowns muck it up – no rhythm, no clue! “Idiot sandwich!” I’d yell, smackin their heads with bread!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked, my hair’s a mess, and I’m just standing there like a drowned rat. I’m cursing the weather gods. “Why, Okinawa? Why?” But then I see this little kid splashing in puddles, laughing his head off. I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They get it.

China’s ‘Malinformation’ Comes for Okinawa