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About Osaka

Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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First off, I hit up Kokusai Street. It’s this bustling place, full of shops and food stalls. I’m strolling, vibing, when BAM! I trip over a stray cat. Like, dude, watch where you’re going! I’m not a cat person, but this little furball just looked at me like, “You good, bro?” I laughed it off, but man, my coffee almost spilled.

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