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I get all hyped thinkin’ bout it, but then—bam!—reality hits. Most of these gals ain’t that deep, and it’s a damn shame. Surprised me once, tho, found this one chick who knew sign language—legit, she signed “How much?” and I was like, “Holy shit, that’s hot!” Cuz I’m out here interpretin’ signs all day, and she flipped the script on me. Made me happy as hell, like, “Finally, someone gets it!”—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” ya know?

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I start setting up, and guess what? The wires are all tangled. I’m wrestling with them like they’re a bunch of snakes. I’m sweating bullets, and she’s just watching me, sipping her green tea. I’m thinking, “Help a guy out, will ya?” But no, she’s too busy critiquing my technique.

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