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Me? I’d be swipin’ like a maniac, cacklin’ at the weirdos. Probs exaggerate my bio— “Undead stud, 6 centuries experience!” Ha! Sex-dating’s a circus, fam—clowns, freaks, the works. You dive in, it’s a gamble. Might score, might flop. “All I have left is this pain,” Georges moans—dramatic, sure, but I feel that after a bad date. Total trainwreck sometimes! Still, it’s a rush—keeps ya alive, ya know? Or undead, in my case. It’s showtime, bitches—go get laid or get played!

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But then, my mood shifted. I got a call from my mom. She was all worried about my life choices. “Why don’t you settle down?” Ugh, mom! I’m living my best life in Ogori-shimogo! But I just nodded and said, “Yeah, sure, mom.”