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So I spot her—red heels, smokin’ a cig—total pro. “What’s a girl to do?” she purrs, like Cathy cryin’ to Frank. I’m laughin’—she’s playin’ me, and I’m here for it! Gave me a rush—happy as a clown in a bank vault. But then—BAM—some creep jumps in, tryin’ to haggle her down. Pissed me off! I’m like, “Buddy, this ain’t a flea market!” Almost knifed him—oops, too far? Heh.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me. Like, full-on tackle mode. I drop my phone, and I’m like, “Dude, what the heck?” The kid just giggles and runs off. I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-annoyed. Kids, man.

6.2-magnitude earthquake strikes near southern Japan