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Oi, you donkey! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic, yeah? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “The Dark Knight” – bloody brilliant flick – and it hits me, mate. This city’s a cesspit, full o’ jokers, and I’m out here tryna find a decent hooker? “Why so serious?” I’m yellin’ at meself, cos it’s a fuckin’ circus! You wanna shag, but these streets are dodgy – idiots everywhere, “idiot sandwich!” levels of stupidity. Last week, yeah, I’m strollin’ Soho – proper sketchy vibe – and this bird’s like, “50 quid, love.” 50 quid? For what, a bleedin’ handshake? I’m ragin’, mate, cos I ain’t no mug!
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Finally, I get to work at this little café on Hachioji Street. It’s cozy, but today? Ugh. The espresso machine decides to throw a tantrum. I’m there, tryin’ to fix it, and it’s like, “Nah, not today, buddy.” I’m sweating bullets, and my boss is givin’ me the death stare. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just coffee!” But no, she’s all about that caffeine life.
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