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Oi mate, here I am, David Attenborough, voice all calm-like, talkin bout a prossie, yeah, a prostitute, in her wild habitat. Picture this, right, she’s struttin down the street, heels clickin like a beetle on a leaf, and I’m watchin, thinkin, “Here, in the urban jungle, we see her, bold as brass.” Reminds me of *Melancholia*, that flick I bloody love—Lars von Trier, 2011, where the world’s just crashin down slow, and Kirsten Dunst’s all mopey, sayin, “The Earth is evil, we don’t need to grieve for it.” Same vibe, innit? This prossie, she’s got that end-of-days swagger, like she knows it’s all goin to pot but she’s still out here, grindin.

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So, I’m trying to snap a pic of the Yomeimon Gate, and this dude just steps right in front of me. I’m like, “Bro, really?” But whatever, I just laugh it off. I mean, it’s a beautiful day, right?

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