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Negotiated—Donald Trump always wins, folks. Got a deal—best deal, nobody better. Took her to my spot—luxury, gold everywhere, yuge class. She’s laughin’, I’m laughin’—great chemistry, fantastic. “You’re in a dream,” she says—Mulholland vibes, spooky but hot. Felt like a king—me, Donald, the greatest. But then—bam—phone rings, deal’s off. Some jerk interrupted—pissed me off, unbelievable.

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After that, I decide to stroll down Kameyama Street. It’s lined with cute little shops and cafes. I pop into this tiny joint called “Naze Nibbles.” The owner, this sweet old lady, serves me the best matcha latte ever. I’m sipping it, feeling all zen, when I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a guy on a bike, totally wiped out. He’s okay, but his bike? Not so much. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, come on, dude, watch where you’re going!

Swimming pool to close following school summer holidays for flume refurbishment works