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Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! Honey, lemme spill the tea on erotic-massage – it’s that sexy, slippery goodness that gets ya soul singin’! I’m talkin’ hands glidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot croissant – straight outta *Amélie* vibes, ya feel me? Like when Amélie’s out there, sneaky-helpin’ folks, an erotic-massage is that quiet lil’ gift you give yaself – or ya boo, if they lucky!

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I finally calmed down and decided to grab some grub. Hit up this little ramen joint on Shimozato Street. Best decision ever! The broth was so rich, I could’ve bathed in it. I’m slurping away, and this old lady next to me starts chatting. She’s telling me about the history of Nasushiobara, how it was a hot spot for samurai back in the day. I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool!” But then she goes on about how they used to duel in the streets. I’m thinking, “Man, I’d pay to see that!”

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