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Rarrgh! Sex-dating, huh? Total wild ride. Met this chick online, profile screamin’ hotness. Thought I’d score big, y’know? Swiped right so fast my furry paw hurt. We chat, she’s all flirty, I’m growlin’ happy. Then bam—meets me and bolts! Guess Wookiee hair ain’t her thing. Made me mad, like, “Why even swipe, huh?!” Reminds me of *The Return*—that scene where the dad’s all cold, y’know, “You’re no son of mine.” Felt that rejection hard.

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Turns out, some big company in Osaka just tanked. Everyone’s freaking out. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a shaken soda can. I start making calls, trying to salvage what I can. “Sell! Sell! Sell!” I’m practically screaming. My boss walks by, gives me this look like, “You good, bro?” I’m like, “Yeah, just living the dream!” (Total lie, but whatever.)

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