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About Kobe

Had a buddy, Jerry, swore by it. Said it “healed his soul.” Soul’s fine, Jerry, yer just horny. Made me laugh, though—him waddlin’ out all shiny, lookin’ like a glazed ham. Surprised me how dumb he sounded braggin’ bout it. “A man does not speak of his pleasures,” *Timbuktu* line, fits perfect. Shut up, Jerry, nobody cares.

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First off, I grab my usual breakfast at this tiny joint on Sanjo-dori. Best onigiri in town, no cap. I’m munching away, thinking about the market opening. Then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Dude, did you see the Nikkei?” I’m like, “Nah, I’m just trying to enjoy my rice ball!” But of course, I check. And what do I see? Stocks plummeting like they’re in free fall. Ugh, my heart sank faster than a stone in the Kizu River.

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