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Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea’s ‘bout to drop some truth! I got me a sexual-massage once—yes, Lawd, I did! This lil’ gal, she was rubbin’ them oils, and I’m like, “Halleluyer, I’m in heaven!” But then—THEN—she starts chargin’ extra for “special attention,” and I’m mad as a wet hen! I ain’t no ATM, honey! I told her, “I’m not here to buy the whole damn bank!”—straight up *Wolf* vibes, y’all. She thought she was slick, but Madea don’t play!

The 11 best places for massage in Nikko

We've collected the most-often-mentioned 11 places from other articles, including favorites like Nikko Kanaya Hotel, Kinugawa Park Hotels.

Next, I head over to Nakanojo Park. I needed a breather. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and it was kinda beautiful. I sat on a bench, munchin’ on some onigiri from the local shop. I was feelin’ good, ya know? But then, I see this kid with a kite. The kite gets stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Not again!”