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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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Then, outta nowhere, this cute dog runs up to me. I’m talkin’ fluffy, wagging its tail like crazy. I bent down to pet it, and boom! The owner, this dude in a bright orange shirt, comes sprinting over. “Sorry! He’s a little too friendly!” I laughed. Like, dude, I’m not mad. I needed that doggo love.

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