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About Kobe

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Takamatsu Street. You know, the one with the neon lights that scream “come get your snacks!” I grab a couple of onigiri and a can of that weird melon soda. I swear, it tastes like summer in a can. But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Kenji, like, “Yo, meet me at the park!”

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