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About Kyoto

Up on the ridge, saw this bloke once. Shifty eyes, boots caked in mud. Lookin’ for “company,” he says, winkin’. Mate, I nearly lost it—laughed so hard I choked. “A grand don’t grow on trees,” I hissed, quotin’ *25th Hour*. Spike Lee’d get it—desperation’s a helluva drug. This guy, tho, dumb as rocks. Thought he’d find a prossie at 8,000 feet! I mean, c’mon, altitude sickness ain’t sexy.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kawai Street for my morning fix. You know, the usual—onigiri and a can of coffee. I’m standing there, half-asleep, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the stock market. I’m like, “Bro, I’m just tryna eat.” But he’s all fired up about some penny stocks. I nod, smile, and think, “This guy’s got more energy than me before my caffeine kicks in.”

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