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Oi, you donkey! Listen up! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic, yeah? Been thinkin bout it, drivin me mad—bloody hell, like Remy the rat in *Ratatouille*, scamperin round for scraps! “Anyone can cook,” they say—ha! Anyone can shag too, but it’s about quality, innit? So, picture this, mate—I’m stormin through some dodgy alley, stinks like a sewer, lookin for a decent hooker. Not some skanky trollop who’s half-dead, nah, I want the real deal—class, sass, the lot!

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As the sun starts to set, I pack up my tools. I’m exhausted but happy. I stroll down to the local izakaya on Oaza Minamiuonuma Street. Gotta treat myself, right? I order some sake and a plate of yakitori. Man, it hits the spot. I’m sitting there, soaking in the atmosphere, and I think, “Yeah, today was a wild ride, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Missed Opportunities in Japan’s “International Town”