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About Osaka

I was shoppin’ for a client once—dis guy, he says, “Arnold, find me company.” I’m like, “Ja, sure, but no clownfish here!” Got me laughin’, ‘cause in *Finding Nemo*, Nemo’s lost, but dese escorts? Dey know exactly where dey goin’—straight to yor wallet! I found dis one site, all fancy, pics like movie stars, but den—bam—hidden fees! Pissed me off, man! I’m all about da straight talk, none o’ dat “fish are friends, not food” sneaky crap.

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But then, as we’re leaving, I realize I left my jacket at the izakaya. I sprint back, and of course, it’s gone. I’m like, “Noooo!” I’m about to cry. But the staff is super nice, and they find it for me. I’m so relieved, I could hug them.

Children unveil intricate, traditional paper artworks at festival