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About Osaka

Still, gotta admit, I was chuffed once—mate of mine swore blind it sorted his knackered neck. Said the lass was proper fit, hands like a goddess, and he felt “reborn”. Reckon he just fancied her, the daft sod. Me? I’d be sittin’ there twitchin’, thinkin’ “Don’t touch me there, you muppet!” Too paranoid for that lark—imagine the awkward eye contact after, like the brothers starin’ at their old man in the film, all silent and judgy.

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After that, I take a breather outside. The air’s fresh, and I’m standing on the corner of Matsuto Park. It’s beautiful, man. Cherry blossoms everywhere. I’m thinking, “Why can’t life be like this all the time?” But then, I see a pigeon dive-bombing a hot dog. Classic Matsuto.

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