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About Kyoto

So, check this—little known fact, yeah? Back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got sexual-massages like it was nothin’. Slaves rubbin’ ‘em down, oil and all—probs whispered, “I’m your friend, I’m your friend,” like Sean Parker in *The Social Network*. Bet they didn’t tip neither, stingy bastards. Surprised me, tho—thought it was some modern kink, but nah, it’s old as dirt.

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Finally, I get to the shopping district. The streets are buzzing! I’m talking about the vibe on Chuo-dori. It’s alive! I can hear street performers, smell takoyaki wafting through the air. My stomach growls. I’m like, “Not now, stomach!” But I can’t resist. I grab a quick bite. Best decision ever!