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Oh, and—little secret—some oligarchs hire ‘em for insane parties, like 50 girls at once, caviar and all. Heard it from a drunk client—dude swore he saw Putin there, wink-wink. Bullshit, probly, but funny as hell! “My precious!” I screech, lovin’ the madness of it all. Beats sittin’ in an office, countin’ death rates, y’know? Hiss! What’s your take, mate—crazy enough for ya?

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After that, I strolled down to the Kuji River. The view was stunning. I mean, the water sparkled like diamonds. I took a deep breath, feeling all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zoomed past me and splashed water all over my shoes. I was like, “Dude, really?!” I mean, come on! I just cleaned these!

Pandemic-hit sake brewer to make gin, vodka from unused rice