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She’s got dis vibe, tho – makes ya mad, happy, all at once. Like, one time, I heard dis story – true stuff, doc! – some john left her a freakin’ *castle* in his will. A CASTLE! Who does dat? Made me laugh so hard I choked on my carrot. But den, I got pissed – why’s she gettin’ castles while I’m stuck dodgin’ Elmer Fudd? Ain’t fair, doc, ain’t fair.

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But wait, there’s more! I’m just about done when I see this old lady on the side of the road. She’s tryin’ to cross, but she’s super slow. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, I got places to be!” But then I see her struggle, and my heart softens. So, I stop and help her across. She’s all smiles, and I’m feelin’ like a hero.