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Been muckin about on Tinder, Bumble, whatever – total chaos, mate! This one geezer, right, puts in his bio, “DTF, no chat,” and I’m sittin there, gobsmacked! No “how’s yer day,” just bam, knickers off! Little known fact, yeah? Back in the 90s, folk used “personal ads” in papers for this shite – “man seeks woman, quick bonk.” Same game, different playground, eh?

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The authors found that date examination were only recorded on 40% of certificates and many certificates were also missing information on animal identification.

But then, I overhear this guy talkin’ about a festival comin’ up. I’m like, “What festival?” Turns out, it’s the Kozakai-cho Matsuri! I’m pumped! I love festivals! Food, games, and all that good stuff. I’m already thinkin’ about takin’ my combine and makin’ a float or somethin’.