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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some sh*t. Back in the day—well, not *my* day, I’m timeless, ha!—sex-dating was hush-hush. Little known fact: in the ‘90s, people used *newspapers* for this! Classified ads, all sneaky, “Man seeks woman for fun times.” Wild, right? Now it’s all DMs and nudes—progress, I guess? Makes me laugh, tho, how we’ve gone from ink to “u up?” texts at 2 a.m.

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But wait, there’s more! I’m just about done when I see this old lady on the side of the road. She’s tryin’ to cross, but she’s super slow. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, I got places to be!” But then I see her struggle, and my heart softens. So, I stop and help her across. She’s all smiles, and I’m feelin’ like a hero.