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But then—here’s the rant part—I get pissed! The music’s some cheesy whale sounds, and I’m like, “What am I, a dolphin? Gimme somethin’ with grit!” And the towel’s too small—my tuchus is hangin’ out, freezin’! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Cover me up, lady, I’m not an exhibitionist!” But she’s good, real good—slidin’ those hands like she’s sculptin’ a masterpiece. I’m surprised, shocked even—didn’t think I’d be this relaxed AND this—uh—excited! It’s a freakin’ paradox!

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So, I head over to the Koka City Hall. Gotta deal with some paperwork. Ugh, the bureaucracy here is a nightmare. I’m sittin’ there, waitin’ forever. I mean, c’mon, it’s Koka, not Tokyo! Finally, I get called up. The lady behind the counter is super nice, but she’s takin’ her sweet time. I’m like, “Lady, I got places to be!” But I just smile and nod. Gotta keep it cool, right?

'Ba a damawa da mu,' Magoya bayan Buhari na CPC sun koka kan tafiyar APC