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About Saitama

Lemme paint it—me, rollin’ slow, smokin’ a blunt, peepin’ corners. This one chick, tight dress, heels clickin’, I’m like, “She the one?” Pull up, she’s all, “What you need, baby?” I’m thinkin’, *damn, this like the movie*—“You’re late, where were you?”—‘cept I ain’t mad, just high. She hops in, smellin’ like cheap perfume and hustle. Little known fact, tho—some pros in the ‘70s? They’d stash cash in they hair, big ol’ weaves, cops never checked. Smart as shit, right?

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, tryin’ to shake it off. I pass by Kofu Castle. Man, that place is beautiful! But I’m too frazzled to appreciate it. I’m thinkin’ about my sheep, and how they’re probably munchin’ on grass without me.

Stubbornly resistant to change, Japan is finally giving in for the sake of tourism