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Aight, listen up, you losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s a freakin’ mess out there! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *12 Years a Slave*, ya know? That flick’s intense—Solomon’s all, “I will survive!” and I’m like, damn, prostitutes prolly say that too! Hella real shit. Anyway, findin’ one? Psh, it’s like huntin’ for candy in Stan’s dumb vegan fridge—tricky as hell!

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Later, I met up with my buddies at the izakaya on Kōen-dōri. We ordered way too much food. Like, I’m talkin’ a mountain of yakitori and some bomb sake. We were laughing, joking, and just vibin’. But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Kenji starts a karaoke battle. I was like, “No way, not tonight!” But peer pressure is real, so I ended up belting out some old-school J-Pop. I’m pretty sure I scared away a few customers. Oops!