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Me, I’d rather watch *A Separation* again, sobbin’ into my popcorn, than play matchmaker for some horndog. Ain’t my circus, ain’t my monkeys! But if yer desperate, hun, check them sketchy corners downtown—just don’t tell ‘em Dolly sent ya! I’m too busy miscountin’ change and singin’ off-key to “Jolene” in my head—ha! Stay safe, y’all, and tip yer cashier!

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After the rain let up, I decided to check out the castle. I mean, it’s a must-see, right? I walked up the hill, and the view was insane! You could see the whole city sprawled out below. But then, I tripped on a rock. Classic me. I went tumbling down, and I swear I could hear the castle laughing at me.

2-year-old girl dies after father forgets to drop her off at school