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But here’s the dirt, fam—sex escortin’s got layers. Ain’t just “pay, bang, bye.” Some of these folks got stories that’d make ya cry or punch a wall. Like, didja know there’s escorts who double as therapists? True story—guy I heard bout paid $500 just to sob on her shoulder bout his ex. No sex, just tears! Wild, right? Made me happy seein’ humans bein’ human, but pissed me off too—why’s society gotta make it so damn hard they gotta pay for comfort?

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Then I roll over to the Kawanoecho Park area. Man, it’s beautiful there. Cherry blossoms everywhere! But guess what? It’s packed with tourists. I mean, I get it, it’s a sight, but can’t a guy drive his tractor in peace? I’m dodging families taking selfies like I’m in some kinda obstacle course. “Hey, watch it!” I yell. They just laugh. Like, really?