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About Kobe

Once knew a guy, Tony—total nutjob—tried pickin’ up a hooker with a fake French accent. Thought it’d charm her! She laughed in his face—“Love’s a fiction,” straight outta Godard. Tony’s ego? Fried like a flux capacitor! Hilarious, but damn, I felt bad for the dude. Me? I’d rather sip coffee and rant than chase tail—too much drama!

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But then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yelling at me. “You’re blocking my driveway!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to do my job!” But she’s relentless. I’m thinkin’, “What’s her deal?” I mean, it’s not like I parked a tank in front of her house. Just a tractor, chillin’.