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I mean, who doesn’t wanna be rubbed down like a freakin’ king? It’s all bout that sensory overload—skin on skin, baby! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d slather ya with olive oil and call it “therapeutic.” Therapeutic my ass—those toga-wearin’ pervs just wanted a good time! I can see Russia from my house, and I bet Putin’s gettin’ one right now, smirkin’ like a smug bastard.

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Finally, I get to the prison, and it’s already chaos. I walk in, and the guards are all lookin’ at me like I’m the Grim Reaper. Turns out, one of the inmates tried to escape. Can you believe that? In Katori-shi, of all places! I mean, we’re not exactly known for our prison breaks.

Moderate mag. 4.5 earthquake - North Pacific Ocean, 46 km east of Mito, Ibaraki, Japan, on Monday, May 5, 2025, at 01:34 am (GMT +9)