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Ever tried it? Mate, it’s nuts—half massage, half somethin’ else, wink wink. Not just horny rubbish tho—helps with stress, blood flow, all that jazz. Surprised me, tbh, didn’t expect the science bit. Oh, and the oils—lavender, eucalyptus—smells like heaven, or maybe a posh brothel, ha! “We’re like goddesses!”—that’s *Spring Breakers* again, me feelin’ godly after a good rubdown.

Our Tantra massages at a glance

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So, I get to work. I’m up in that tree, feeling like a ninja. But then, outta nowhere, a freakin’ pigeon decides to dive-bomb me. Like, what’s your problem, bird? I’m just trying to save your home! I swear, I almost lost my balance. I’m flailing around, and people are staring. Great, now I’m the tree guy who fights pigeons.

Zico: Brazilian Soccer Legend’s Deep Connection with Kashima and Japan