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About Kyoto

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so me and my alien bros, we’re zippin’ thru the galaxy, right? Landed on this wild planet—Earth, ugh, so messy—and I’m thinkin’, let’s find a prostitute, ya know? Like, why not? Been watchin’ “Ratatouille” on repeat—*“Anyone can cook!”*—and I’m like, anyone can hustle too, right? So, we beam down, tentacles twitchin’, lookin’ for some action.

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So, I’m walking down the street, trying to shake it off. I pass by the Kanuma Shrine, and it’s all quiet. Too quiet. I mean, where’s the energy? I’m used to seeing families, kids running around, and all that jazz. Instead, it’s like a ghost town. I’m like, “C’mon, Kanuma, don’t let me down!”

Cattle decorated, worshipped on the occasion of Kanuma