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I love the thrill, tho—gets my heart pumpin’. Beats sittin’ in my cubicle, calculatin’ life expectancies. But don’t pee on my leg and say it’s easy—half these girls got pimps watchin’ like hawks. One time, I’m chattin’, and this dude rolls up, all “What’s yer problem?” I’m thinkin’, “I’m not here to die, pal!” Booked it outta there faster than a SEAL team.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, yelling about a cat stuck in a tree. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” So, I follow him outside, and sure enough, there’s this fluffy little furball, meowing like it’s auditioning for a musical. I’m like, “How the heck did you get up there?” The kid’s panicking, and I’m trying to be the hero. I climb the tree, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly a squirrel. I’m clinging on for dear life, and the kid’s cheering me on like I’m scaling Everest.