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I spot her – red heels. Skirt so short – WHOA! She’s leanin’ on a lamppost. Smokin’. I’m like – jackpot! But then – this drunk sailor stumbles up. Starts yellin’. “I SAW HER FIRST!” And I’m pissed! Blood boilin’! I’m thinkin’ – “This is MY story!” Like – who’s this clown? Ruinin’ my night! I almost deck him. But – nah. Too much effort.

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But then, as I’m sipping my latte, I see this guy across the street. He’s trying to parallel park, and it’s a disaster. He’s hitting the curb, then the car behind him. I’m just sitting there, laughing my head off. I mean, come on, dude! It’s not rocket science!