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Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “Lookin’ for my soulmate”—sure, Jan, in a hookup app? Cracks me up! Sex-dating ain’t perfect, nope—messy, sloppy, sometimes ya wanna yell, “What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?” But damn, when it hits? Better’n ice cream on a hot day.

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Then, I’m walking down Kamo Alley, and I see this little shop selling charcoal. Perfect! I’m all about that charcoal life. I walk in, and the guy behind the counter is super chill. We start chatting about the best wood for burning. He’s all about that oak, and I’m like, “Nah, man, you gotta go with cherry.” We’re going back and forth, and it’s like a charcoal showdown. I’m pumped, right?