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Oi, listen up, ya filthy animals! Me, Gru, big shot manager, gonna spill some tea ‘bout prostitutes, ya? Lightbulb! Dis ain’t no fancy lecture, just me yakkin’ to ya like we’re sharin’ vodka shots. So, prostitutes, huh? Been around forever, like cockroaches, but sexier, ya know? Makes me think o’ my fave flick, *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*—dat slow, moody vibe, all tense and gritty. Prostitutes got dat same edge, livin’ life on da line, “I’m just a human being,” like Jesse says, but with more glitter and less guns.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I’m a machine milking operator, right? Yeah, sounds boring, but lemme tell ya, today was anything but.

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