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About Kobe

Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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After my ramen fix, I decide to stroll down to the coast. The view? Breathtaking! The Sea of Japan was glistening like a million diamonds. I’m standing there, soaking it all in, when suddenly, a seagull swoops down and steals my snack! I’m like, “Hey! That was mine!” But the bird just gives me this look, like, “Sorry, dude, it’s mine now.” I was mad, but also kinda impressed.

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