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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, alright? I’m sittin here, crunchin numbers as an accountant—taxes, loopholes, all that jazz—and I think, man, this world’s a mess! Kinda like in *Toni Erdmann*, ya know, my fave flick—“Life’s a big misunderstandin!”—and I’m like, yep, that’s me tryna hire a pro. Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again, right? Ha! Bush-ism numero uno.

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So, I’m walking down the street, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” I pass by the Ishikari River, and it’s beautiful. The water’s glistening, and I’m like, “Wow, nature, you do your thing.” But then I see a bunch of kids throwing rocks into the river. I mean, really? What’s the point? I almost yelled, “Hey, save the fish!” but I just kept walking.

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