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So, Find a Prostitute—it’s not a stock, obvi, but imagine it was! I’d be like, “Invest now, dividends later!” Haha, get it? Anyway, I’m picturin’ this like *Moonrise Kingdom*, my fave movie ever—Wes Anderson, 2012, pure genius. Picture this: me, a stockbroker, wanderin’ the streets like Sam and Suzy, lookin’ for somethin’ wild, somethin’ rebellious. “We’re in love, we’re runnin’ away!”—but instead of camp, it’s… uh, shady corners, ya know?

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Finally, I get back to the shop, ready to deal. The vibe is electric. People are pumped. I’m shuffling cards like a pro, feeling the energy. But then, this one guy, he’s just losing it. He’s throwing cards everywhere! I’m like, “Bro, it’s just a game!” But he’s all dramatic, acting like he just lost his life savings. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a few bucks!

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