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About Osaka

My fave movie’s *Inglourious Basterds*, hell yeah, Tarantino’s a genius! Whores in that flick? Not really, but imagine Shosanna as one—ha! She’d be all, “This is the face of Jewish vengeance,” while flippin’ tricks in that cinema. Badass, right? But real whores? They ain’t that cool. This one time, I heard ‘bout a whore in old Denver—true story, swear to God—she’d hide cash in her damn corset, like 1800s style, and once stabbed a dude with a hairpin! Freakin’ wild, huh? Bet she’d say, “Each and every one of you deserves this!” like Aldo the Apache, stabbin’ Nazis.

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But then, the night takes a turn. I’m walkin’ back to my car, and I see a stray cat. It’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ all sad. I’m like, “C’mon, little buddy, life’s too short to be sad!” I reach down to pet it, and it hisses at me! I’m like, “Whoa, chill out, cat!”

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